assuming good will
i kinda Have to assume people are full of kindness and love and want what's best for each other or i'd have called it quits a Long while back
if i said people were treating me the way they Want to treat me, and held others to a "reasonable" standard, i'd be Fucking Toast buddy.
the public broadly treats me like furniture. Nobody is delicate with me to the extent i really need. Or people are delicate and careful but Only So Far And Not Any More! How Dare You! or they impose fantasies on me which i'll happily step into in order to be loved. but it's not love, or not a love i respect, or not one that's good for me. But i CAN'T really evaluate people i have ever loved because in my mind they are justified, they are doing their best and if they hurt me it's necessary and just part of loving them, and to go "actually? this person was a self centered greedy petty asshole".. requires i reinterpret their actions without love in my heart.
anyway people? broadly? have led me astray or taunted me with images of care or encouraged me to be hateful and intolerable. I am stubborn in ways people find vile (i am nearly unmoving), but Not stubborn in ways people often cannot stomach being (who do u know who is willing to change..)
ugh, just
maybe i'm done assuming people have the same good will and willingness to teach and learn and grow in their hearts i do in mine. is this statement completely egotistic? yes of course. so what? condemn me then.
but my wife exists and he cares and is full of love that hasn't been subdued in favor of self protective, every man for himself, greedy bullshit.
imagine, stomaching an inconvenience or a even.... HARM to help someone else! gasp unthinkable!
my wife would let any dog kill him if he could not shove it away or run, he would not kill Any dog to save his own life.
i think that's right actually.
(edit: personally i value his life over the life of any dog. if i had to and could, i would kill any dog to save my wife's life)
i think love should be more important than life or death. otherwise, what is it?
anyway, time to make my wife some coffee 🥰
who has been or would be kind to my wife?
to the people who haven't, why should i care about you?