diffuse love
one of the things that causes me to become unreasonably angry and stubborn is threats to the idea that love can exist, that there is more than transaction in the world
when as a kid people would talk to me about "networking" or "picking a reasonable career" or really any sort of Be Reasonable (loveless)..
it is difficult now to be "reasonable" in order to keep my wife alive and fed
i need to disconnect my diffuse attachments to love so i can strengthen the one that matters: my love with my wife.