easily bullied
in terms of how easily bullied i am,
i got bullied by an ancient grandma at the knitting circle today 😅
she said i should show my stuff for show and tell (i didn't want to---not bc im shy but bc my Very Technical knitting is smth ppl admire but can make others feel inadequate and i wanted everyone to feel welcome... I am used to being shown off or praised as a way to hurt other people and i hate it) but i said no but... she talked to the woman who runs it (L) saying well if i won't bc im shy, L should show the thing i made
and that's worse but i didnt know how to say that so i just did the showing myself..
and 😭
i can't defend against the violence of a KNITTING GRANNY????
the granny wanted me to show my mitten bc it's Technically Impressive but she didn't value me or the other people there, she valued the thing that i can do
i hate people like this.
i have met many.
as sensitive as i am to this sort of violence, my wife is Far more astute and Infinitely bulliable...
must be gentle with him
still so fucking ashamed and degraded
i dont know what to say in this sort of situation bc everything i've ever said was wrong (i'm not allowed to not want to do something!!!!! or well, i'm allowed to disagree a bit but IF THEY INSIST WHAT DO I DO)
so the only answer left is yes
angry and hurt and ashamed