don't read this

first kiss

i know what a person is and can be

i have been recognized as such, and have been something like a "human" as is commonly understood (smth smth violence done in virtue's name)

i think i can become true to myself, and to my wife.

living in a way that meets my own standards

in a way that i am not lying to myself every single day...

TO BE TRUE.

only then can i love true

and be loved true.

I NEED TO BECOME SOMEONE A GOD COULD ADMIRE

and a cat with... how many lives left? can see as home.


when I kissed you, it WAS when I thought our hearts had touched

but not when I thought things would be safe and true.

just, when TO TOUCH YOUR HEART, FOR MY HEART TO BE TOUCHED.... it would be worth it if you broke mine.

it was when i had the courage to risk heartbreak


IT WOULD BE EASY TO KISS THOUGHTLESSLY

but why ...

IF I AM TRUE TO MY HEART, why pretend?


(fear is why)


OH!!!! I'm coming on too strong. I see...