unwanted conversation
we can say
i was rude to a woman who was very friendly
we can say
i indulged a crazy person
we can say
i was trapped by a woman who kept saying horrible things that broke my heart but was too terrified to do anything but be Friendly™ but I couldn't even do that well...
we can say
i privately disdained a friendly woman but was too cowardly to excuse myself, and considered myself the "victim"
we can say
a normal woman saw I was a doormat and wiped her shoes off
how would you like me to put it
she talked about killing her cat
she talked about killing her childhood friend by suicide (OD alone in a hotel room)
she talked about breaking her son's spirit (you gotta follow through or kids won't take your threats seriously!)
she talked about good and evil and good people and evil people and how to tell the difference (the "dead, dark eyes")
she talked about how she thought a Philly cheesesteak had cream cheese (Philadelphia brand!) but it was still delicious
she talked about making fries in the air fryer, and marinating chicken in italian dressing (or even the creamy caesar!) and put that on the charcoal grill and she said it was really good
she talked about how much she loves horses and how she grew up around them
she talked about waterfalls and how when she dies she wants her ashes thrown over a waterfall
she talked about how when she was in her 30s and lived with her dad, she took out the trash and went out twice but the third time was too much and she said no and her dad threw her onto the couch and choked her and she kicked him and fled and called the cops, but they since made up but he's in the ground now
she talked about how much she likes to help people
she talks about how she doesn't like receiving help, because then she's beholden to people.
she talked about how her ex divorced her when his kid was grown, because "he just wanted a babysitter"
she talked about how a customer punched her, and she talked about viciously berating people who were in the wrong.
i talked about liking animals, growing up in jersey (to me, NY pizza is just "pizza"), and how I'm looking to be buried someday "but hopefully no time soon"
i can't(???) escape these kinds of people
i'm so so so fucking scared.
this is how humans treat each other
what makes me inhuman is being hurt by this
(or being unable to deflect or idk. i'm a doormat and she wipes her boots off on me so that she doesn't look at her phone and play the little games she hates)
i REALLY TRIED to tell her to fuck off somehow, I looked constantly at my phone, I disengaged as much as possible I tried but I still reflexively apologize for even ignoring her to get up to check smth at the front desk
i can't NOT yield here???
like the only way I don't yield is if I ENTIRELY VIOLATE PROPRIETY
and outright tell her "please don't ever speak to me again" or smth BUT I'M REALLY SCARED OF WHAT FOLLOWS THAT
And I don't know how else to tell her to fuck off